


Postman Pat(trick) and his silly ol' hat.

by Ackleholic79



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:21:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28260825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ackleholic79/pseuds/Ackleholic79
Summary: This AU is inspired by an ask that I sent to @danieljradcliffe whilst I was watching the episode where David talks about being hustled by a postman. It was then when @fraudulentzodiac  suggested the following:AU where Patrick is a mailman and David lives on his route, and they manage to get off on the wrong foot somehow, but David thinks he has to pay him, so Patrick goes with it, since he has to put up with this guy pestering him for his packages, he may as well get something out of it. But then Pat starts liking him and has to confess he doesn’t need to pay.This is also partially inspired by Noah's Gemini Album, please enjoy! I will update it as much as possible.  Tags will be added as the story goes on.
Relationships: Clint Brewer & Marcy Brewer, Clint Brewer/Marcy Brewer, Johnny Rose & Moira Rose, Johnny Rose/Moira Rose, Patrick Brewer & David Rose, Patrick Brewer/David Rose, Theodore "Ted" Mullens & Alexis Rose, Theodore "Ted" Mullens/Alexis Rose
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. I Guess I’ll Just Lie Here

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: The RCMP is the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

_So I guess I'll just lie here._  
_I guess I'll just lie here._  
_Oh, I guess I'll just lie here._  
_Breathin' in, breathin' out_  
_Breathin' in and breathin' out_  
_I guess I'll just lie here._

* * *

David flopped onto the bumpy bed. It was day three of a panic attack, and he would do anything to have a coma right now. Living in a 25 hundred square foot Soho live/workspace to living in a motel room on the outskirts of town really did it. He ignored the thousands of text messages from his parents buzzing from his phone. He didn't want their help. He needed to do this independently. That's until Alexis rang.

_'What?!'_ David called into the phone. _'David calm down. It's not your fault with what happened, can you please ring mum and dad, they're worried'_ Alexis exclaimed. ' _I can't right now, after what Sebastien did, I am just finding it really hard to connect with people right now'_ , David stated.

_'Okay David, if you don't want to talk, that's fine, but at least tell mum and dad where you are. Mum hasn't come out of the closet for weeks, and Dad has been up all night talking to the RCMP about where you could be'_.

David sighed, ' _Okay, okay fine, I'll call him, I've gotta go'_.

_'Wait isn't you going to tell me where you are?'_ her voice sounding concerned.

_'I'm in Schitt's Creek'_ David exclaimed.

'You're _in what?'_

_'Schitt's Creek, it's like 4 hours from Toronto'_ David stated over the phone, _'Anyway, I just have this deep sense of dread right now and want to be alone right now'_. Before Alexis could speak, David hung up and sunk his head into the lumpy pillow. I guess I'll just lie here then, David thought before going into a much-needed rest.


	2. American Roads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Patrick's POV! What is he doing? Where is he at the moment? Read to find out!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you notice any SC easter eggs I have written in? Or any other sorts of references??

_The gasoline in the air I'm breathin'._ _  
The things I doubt and the things I believe in  
The feeling you have when it's more than a feelin.  
The city I trust, and the city I'm leavin'.  
Oh, maybe we'll call it even._

* * *

Patrick stepped outside into the crisp Toronto morning air, wearing his navy-blue Herschel supply co. Beanie that Rachel had given him last Christmas and a jacket with 'Montreal' on the back. After a tearful goodbye to his parents, he packed his things into the Toyota Corolla he decided to leave Toronto. The house would stay with Rachel. She deserved it, after all. In a way, it felt freeing. The cedar trees on each side of the house and jasmine vines wounding around the white lychgate. The sun rose, and Patrick decided he best be on his way and stepped into the car.

An hour past and Patrick was well out of Toronto when he received a call from his mother.

_'Hello, Patrick, where are you now?'_ Marcy Brewer's voice sounded out through the mobile. _'Just an hour out of Toronto, heading north',_ Patrick replied chewing on gum he bought at the gas station before leaving. _'Okay dear, remember to call me each day and tell me where you are, and you know, if you want to come home – '. Patrick_ interrupted ' _Mum, I told you, I need to do this for myself, and it's been ages since I've made a road trip anyway'._ Marcy sighed, ' _I understand dear, just take care of yourself'_. _'Don't worry. I'll make sure of it. Anyway, Mum, the reception here is getting patchy. So, I call you next time I stop_ ' Patrick replied, feeling like he needed some alone time. _'Okay dear, I shall speak to you soon, Dad says hi'_ Marcy replied before hanging up the phone.

The drive was long, but it allowed Patrick to reflect. Life with Rachel was good, but something wasn't right. He had it all planned out, once he finished college he was going to propose, but then Rachel's mother got sick, and that took up most of the time with Rachel being in the hospital much of the time. He just never got around to it. A sense of guilt-filled up, after all, she was the one who helped him through business school, he wanted to change for her, but he couldn't.

It was when Rachel confronted him that he could no longer hide it. They were watching TV when; say it. Say it. Patrick thought to himself. ' _Rachel, I've been thinking about it a lot. I think I'm bi'._ Rachel leaned over and put her hand on his face, ' _Patrick, I think you're gay, I didn't want to say anything because I wanted you to figure that out yourself'_. The very next day, Patrick started to pack. That was over a week ago, saying goodbye to friends and family without a plan on when he was coming back was hard. There was also the whole coming out thing to his parents which took up most of the time. He didn't know how to do it until one night he just told them straight out. A weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and that was that.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Alexis go to a yoga class, and Alexis sees a familiar face, whilst David meets another person associated with the motel :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a tough chapter to write, and that's why it took ages to write, but things are about to get a bit more hopeful for David as he starts to integrate into the community of Schitt's Creek :)

_I fuckin' hate this town_

_Did I say that already?_

_Well, I'm saying it now_

_But it's a thinly veiled disdain_

_I mean what kind of people are afraid of the rain?_

'Good god David, it's like a witches House in here!' a female voice exclaimed, before opening the curtains to reveal Alexis. 'Ugh, what are you doing here?! I told you not to come, and how did you even know I was here?' David groaned. Alexis pulled him by his legs down the bed.

'I have contacts, David. Anyway, are you going to tell me what's up?' she questioned David.

'I broke up with Sebastien' David exclaimed.

Alexis sat down onto the opposite bed looking at David perplexed, 'Wait, didn't you break up with him maybe a month ago?'

'Yes, we got back together, but then….' David stopped; started to turn white with panic.

'You know, you don't have to talk about I you don't want to.' Alexis responded whilst getting up to get her bags. Anyway, I stopped over by that cute little café down the road, and somehow, I agreed to a yoga class'. Alexis interrupted.

'That might be a good thing for me' David replied tr, trying to focus on Alexis. 'That might help me relax, might help me calm down', David continued.

'Yes, totally. The only thing is that I got invited to Ariana's white party, so you may have to go by yourself'. Alexis responded.

'I don't want to have to bring this up... But it's my turn to take a selfish'. David enunciated.

'No, David'

'Yes'

'No, David.'

'Yes, it is. You selfished last time.'

'No.' Alexis yelled t, throwing a pillow from the other queen bed at David.

David caught the pillow; 'Dubai, 2010, I had to pick you up from that blind date that went wrong. It was a total disaster. It's my turn, and I want you to come with me to a yoga class', he responded, throwing the pillow back at her.

Alexis let out a huff of annoyance 'Okay David, luckily I happen to bring luggage, so had I not brought it. You'd have to go alone!'. Alexis unzipped her bag and pulled out her pink bomber jacket and mauve leggings. David made a face that his mother said that it looked like a disgruntled pelican.

What seemed like forever, they finally arrived at what looked like a barn. Walking in, the brunette girl from the café approached, Twyla was her name? 'Hey, you guys made it! Amazing! It's a pairs class, so partner up' Twyla exclaimed in a bubbly tone.

'Okay, well I'm not touching you', told Alexis, 'Well, I'm not touching you' she replied in a disgusted tone.

'Alexis why don't you join Ted' Twyla called over. Alexis looked over with delight at a blond young man wearing what looked like a good knock off lulu limes. 'Oh my god, Ted! What are you doing here?' Alexis called out and strode over to hug him. David looked surprised, but then spotted the girl from the front desk and hurried towards her, 'so umm, do you…do you have a partner' David asked nonchalantly. Stevie gave David a serious look, ‘Yeah, he said he needed to go to the bathroom and would be back in five minutes, but it's been 20 minutes. So, I'm sure he won't mind. He might be M.I.A because of that bad taco or hot dog he had last night'.

'Oh…well I'm sure that's good news for everyone' David replied, relieved he wouldn't need to do yoga with some random.

Twyla starts to put on some Buddhist monk music, the kind of music David would listen to when he did yoga classes with Jennifer Aniston's yoga instructor. It gave him a sense of comfort.

'So now rolling the shoulders back and bending forward towards your feet' Twyla said soothingly, 'then your partner lies onto your back, allowing them for a heart opening-backbend.'

'So was that your boyfriend?' David whispered to Stevie. Stevie snorted, 'more or less' she replied, holding back a laugh. 'We have an arrangement, I was going to go back to the motel, but I'm spending the weekend with him'.

'Oh…I see' David responded.

There was a moment of silence until David spoke up again 'yeah, so I think I'm just having a tough time adjusting to the town's overall aesthetic. Like what sort of town is afraid of the rain?'

'Yeah well, you would be too if you were there during the flood during asbestos season five years ago' replied Stevie, 'but also there's the Elevation cult which predicted the world would end in a giant flood. So, you can never be too careful' continued Stevie.

'Hmmm, and were you part of that cult or…?' David asked.

'Oh god no but Twyla gave me a nocturnal affirmation cassette tape with their cassette player because apparently, you need to make sure that they play at the right speed when you're sleeping'. Stevie replied.

'Oh, I see.' David replied, slowly drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How does Alexis know about Ted? Who was the guy who had the bad burrito or hot dog? So many questions! Post your theories down below :)


End file.
